Here a Moo, There a Moo, Everywhere a SCREAM OF DEATH!!!

Betsy wears a cowbell during the day. She provides farmer brown with milk to feed his family. She slew thirty-nine members of the Yakuza last night in a gang raid.

The Other Side

Why DID the chicken cross the road? What possible draw could the other side bring? We shall never know... those crazy chickens.

Squirrely Vision

Tree branch to tree branch they travel. Rats with good public relations. The cheezburger is their goal.

Some has a case of the *OUCH!*

Each day of the week is one set of 24 hours. Every hour is just one more glimpse into nature. Mother nature sez: Lions, and Tigers, and Bears... oh my!

Break It Down!!!

The dog is natures ballerina. Complex dance moves rarely cause them grief. Lassie, oddly enough, was not a dancer at all.

Garrulous Gastropod

Leaving foot prints on tile. Snotty, slimy, and generally uncomfortable colorations. Snails have an insatiable lust for salt.

Zom Bee

Once dead, now merely animated. These denizens of the graveyard seek living flesh and blood for sustenance. I'm suddenly craving beef jerky!

You can't trust anything

Just when you think you have a grasp on reality. Something moves that isn't supposed to be ABLE to move. ...

Better to give than receive?

I try to deal in reality. Stop laughing. I also like cookies.

X-Mas Iz Coming!!!

Diamonds come from compressed coal. Thousands of years of pressure and stress turn a dark chalky substance... into diamond. Maybe Santa is rewarding evil doers thousands of years in advance?!

Just One Slice Please?

Have you tasted the pie today? The Soylent Green Pie is to die for. Wait... did I just say that???

Just the facts ma'am

Government aid. Used to be for the poor. How rich are your average bank owners?

Circle Street

My friend Dante visited once. Mazzio's does NOT deliver there. How far away is Limbo Street?

Nanny Nanny Boo Boo

The pidgeon is natures 'Weapon of Choice.' Capable of precision aerial attacks. Do you prefer drumstick or breast meat?

XTREME BLOGGING!!!1!!

Fast food just isn't the same anymore. Smaller price tags just mean smaller meals. Anyone up for Kentucky Fried Eagle?

Teddy Bear that isn't there

Soft and cuddly. Stuffed animals winking from existence. Transparent dreams.

Bad Haircut

Scissors cut hair and bone. Sticks and stones can also break those bones. Bodybags are for the lippy.

Winter Sports

I love to watch the squirrels play. Natures ninjas dance and weave amidst the barren wasteland. Don't throw things at the squirrels. Squirrels prey on cats and pray to ceiling squirrel. Cats are instinctively afraid of squirrels. Snowballs hurt.

The Royal Hamster

Evil lies in her heart. Cracker lies in her belly. Which one goes better with cheese?

Biffy da Beever

Biffy and Nutsy are bestest friends. The woods are a nice place to play! WATCH OUT FOR THE SNIPER?!